


Ritsu Namine and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day

by whimsycreator



Category: UTAU, Vocaloid
Genre: Alternate Universe - Elementary School, Gen, Humor, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:26:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28270875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whimsycreator/pseuds/whimsycreator
Summary: Direct spoof of “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day” by Judith Viorst. The grammar is completely awful on purpose. Ritsu Namine is actually 6 years old in this story. This came to me on a complete whim. A Vocaloid and UTAU elementary-school AU may soon shortly follow this.
Kudos: 2





	Ritsu Namine and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day

**Author's Note:**

> **Once again, the grammar is completely awful on purpose.**
> 
> I don’t know. Lol. I promise I’ll write more big ideas soon? I have a lot of them, I just... need to write them.

Once upon a time My name is Ritsu and last night I fell asleep playing Pokemon and the dog gone battery went out and I didn’t save the freaking game and now I have to play the mother father game all over again so I threw my stupid stupid Nintendo DS at the wall and it broke so I yelled and stomped down the stairs and mom gave me a time out and didn’t let me eat my favorite Coco Krispies so instead I had to eat WHEATIES.

I knew it was gonna be a terrible, horrible, no-good very bad day.

At breakfast Ruko found an awesome 65 neon blue race car in her cereal box and Taya found a real cool pair of 3D sunglasses and all I found in by stupid freaking dumb wheaties box was stupid boring awful wheaties.

I think I will move to Korea.

In the school bus I had to sit next to stupid Tei the devil and I hate her because she calls me names and never lets me sit next to the window and since I was already ticked off I said a really bad word and I expected her to cry like a baby chicken but instead Tei got really excited and told the bus driver the word and I had to sit in the stupid time out seat in the back that smelled like donkey butt and was hot and always made me feel like puke.

I really could tell it was going to be the most terrible, horrible, no-good very baddest day ever.

At school Mr. Hiyama said he liked Uta’s boring picture of a spaceship better than my masterpiece of a dinosaur eating Tei’s head off. Mr. Hiyama said it was not a very wholesome picture. It made me feel very insulted.

At singing time he said I sang too loud and that my voice was too “KIRE” whatever that means. At counting time he said I left out 39. But who needs 39. 39 is a stupid number and it reminds me of stupid spoiled divas. I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day!

I could also tell today was SUCKY because Teto said she wasn’t gonna be my best friend anymore. She said that weird ugly girl Uta Utane was her best friend and that stupid wimpy Momo Momone was her second best friend and that I was only her third best friend!

I hope you step on a flaming Lego brick, I said to Teto! I hope the next time you get a double-decker strawberry ice cream cone the ice cream part falls off the cone part and lands in Korea.

At lunch all I had was a sammy with a bunch a baloney on it. Teto and Uta and Momo all had a hammy sammy which was better and Momo’s even had some salami which was the bestest so I got jealous so I made a up lie and told them that their hammy sammies were made of real hamsters. This made Uta and Momo start crying so Teto said I was made of rotted baloney and stuck her tongue out at me and said I was now only her fourth best friend! Then they all moved to a different lunch table. I followed them but Tei was there and told me to leave so I kicked the wall very hard and hurt my big toe.

I saw that there were two Rice Krispy treats in Uta’s lunch bag and Momo got a cupcake with extra icing and Teto got a big ice cream sandwich with both strawberry and chocolate ice cream! Even Tei got a chocolate devil cake which I find appropriate since Tei is the devil. But guess whose mother didn’t even pack them any dessert? Hint: It was my mother.

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

That’s what it was, because after school my mom took us all to the dentist and Dr. Bruno found a cavity just in me because I’ve been eating Cocoa Krispies too much and brushing my teeth not too much. Come back next week and I’ll fix it, said Dr. Bruno.

Next week, I said, I’ll be in Korea. SeeU later.

On the way downstairs the elevator closed on my hair and while we were waiting for mom to get the car out in the thunderstorm Ruko made me fall where it was muddy because they’re a big tall overgrown gigantic meanie head and then when I started crying because of the mud Taya scoffed like the smug face he is and said I was a crybaby and while I was punching Taya in the stupid ugly monocle thingy on his HORRIBLE FACE for saying I was a crybaby my mom came back with the car and scolded me for being muddy and fighting and told me I should be a gentleman like Taya! I would rather eat my foot than become like Taya.

I am having the terriblest, horriblest, no-goodest, very baddest day of my entire life. I told everybody. Nobody even answered.

So then we went to the shoestore to buy some sneakers. Ruko chose black ones with blue streaks. Taya chose blue ones with white streaks. I chose red ones with black streaks but then the shoe man named Shuu said, We’re all sold out. They made me buy plain old white ones, but nobody can make me wear them!

When we picked up my dad at his office he said I couldn’t play with his copying machine, but I forgotted, and I ended up using all the paper on the picture I drew today of Tei getting her head eaten by a dinosaur and now apparently me and my dad have a bad reputation whatever that means. Dad also said to watch out for the books on his desk, and I was careful as could be except for my elbow. He also said don’t fool around with his phone, but I did and I think I called Korea. My dad said please don’t pick him up anymore.

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

There was spinach for dinner and I hate spinach. Taya and Ruko got to eat delicious chicky nuggies, but not me, because I was still in trouble for this morning.

There was twerking on TV and I hate twerking.

My bath was too soapy and it ran down the edges and made the floor wet and I got yelled at. I got soap in my eyes, my marble went down the drain, and I had to wear my clown pajamas. I hate my clown pajamas.

When I went to bed Taya took back the pillow he said I could keep and the Pokemon Squirtle nightlight burned out and I bit my tongue SO I SCREECHED LIKE A PTERODACTYL AND WOKE UP THE ENTIRE HOUSE.

It also ended up scaring away the cat.

The cat wants to sleep with Ruko, not with me.

It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. My mom says some days are like that. Even in Korea.

**Author's Note:**

> References fo Ritsu’s (and others’) official bio:
> 
> His official age is 6 years old. I made him (and the rest of the characters) an actual 6-year-old, in personality and all.
> 
> Ritsu is said to like Cocoa Krispies so I incorporated that.
> 
> He also is supposed to “Hate Japan, but love North Korea.” I made it just “Korea” in this story, however.
> 
> Squirtle nightlight, because apparently Ritsu’s second form is the Pokemon Squirtle. (Wild, right?)
> 
> He is often depicted as very hot-headed.
> 
> Ritsu’s voice “being too ‘KIRE” during singing lessons is a reference to Namine Ritsu’s KIRE voicebank which is is quite well-known for.
> 
> Uta is said to like rice, so I made her dessert Rice Krispies treats.
> 
> Ruko’s shoes were “black with blue streaks.” Reminds you of their hair?


End file.
